Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
dear mr president
There are too many departments, please eliminate 6 and combine 8. I can set aside time to sit with you to discuss the full list of departments and my recommendations.
burn the donut
I have given up trying to convince my brain that a little weight and body fat could add points to our social status (currently 13 of a possible 120 - Jonny Depp is at 119).
There are too many dangers associated with body weight, such as low popularity scores. Seriously though, other dangers are medical and mathematical. Did you know that 1 glazed donut contains 204 calories? Now if you were to do 15 minutes on a treadmill you only burn 102 calories! Did you also know that 30 minutes of golf can burn 153 calories and 60-minute volleyball game can burn 204 calories? (Thanks tipstolose15lbs.com). Still the donut wins and the fat grows. More accurately, when you consume more calories than you burn, the result is fat. When the fat grows, the heart and muscles become weaker.
Now, I am a reasonable man, and as a reasonable man, I have surrendered my quest to gain weight and body fat because it will have 2 possible consequences. No. 1 it will lower my social status, already at a record low, thus proving that body fat and popularity have an inverse proportionality (in that order). No. 2 the quest will make me fat.
There are too many dangers associated with body weight, such as low popularity scores. Seriously though, other dangers are medical and mathematical. Did you know that 1 glazed donut contains 204 calories? Now if you were to do 15 minutes on a treadmill you only burn 102 calories! Did you also know that 30 minutes of golf can burn 153 calories and 60-minute volleyball game can burn 204 calories? (Thanks tipstolose15lbs.com). Still the donut wins and the fat grows. More accurately, when you consume more calories than you burn, the result is fat. When the fat grows, the heart and muscles become weaker.
Now, I am a reasonable man, and as a reasonable man, I have surrendered my quest to gain weight and body fat because it will have 2 possible consequences. No. 1 it will lower my social status, already at a record low, thus proving that body fat and popularity have an inverse proportionality (in that order). No. 2 the quest will make me fat.
My solution, burn the donut!
Friday, January 15, 2010
great big things
As I account for the year so far, my thoughts are rather depressing. I returned home from traveling on Jan 2 to find my house had been robbed of all but my bed, chair and a few clothes. I was shattered. I deal best with shattering moments by internalising the effects and just moving on. Well since I have this online outlet...I will let out. I have heard of and read about many external events such as (1) the fatal shooting of the Togo football team in Angola (2) the devastating earthquake in Haiti, (3) religious fighting in Malaysia (4) forced removal of migrants and shanty town dwellers in south Italy and recently in Pretoria, ...dude I could go on. We already have so many problems, flooding in east Africa, wars in Iraq, Afghanistan and south Sudan, HIV, swine flu, terrorist plotters, extreme heatwaves in Melbourne, arctic weather in Europe, power blackouts in Argentina and other parts of South America. I dare say we are now approaching summer rains on the south east coast of Africa, think Mozambique in 2000. I wonder what great big thing will grab our attention next. Something environmental perhaps, air space incident, rail, fire? I also wonder how much longer we can afford to go on without seeing, hearing and understanding the real question...God's call.
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